This is goodbye.
I'd like to say that we met each other with high hopes for a great future and bright days together... I'd really, really like to say that.
But, we didn't.
You taught me so much, don't get me wrong.
You taught me heartbreak.
I thought I learned, I thought I knew - heartbreak was never a stranger to me.
But you introduced me to different kinds of it.
You showed me that different loves could break a heart... and the more often than not, they all do.
You taught me how to fall for my own best friend,
then how to get back up.
You showed me that as much as I hate goodbyes, and as much as they hurt... it hurt's more to never get the chance.
You brought me to such a weird point in my life where I swear I could almost physically see the different paths everyone I once knew are taking.
And you taught me that it's okay to be on a different one.
You watched me run away from my dreams just to end up leaping right back toward them all over again.
You schooled me in lessons on death and mourning.
You taught me that no one is invincible.
... but its okay to feel that way.
You pushed and pushed me until I fell over and cracked.
And then, the most beautiful things happened.
I learned about love. How sometimes we all have our own crazy ways of showing our love.
I learned the different kinds of love. I learned that it's okay to fall in love every day... so I did.
I learned that sometimes you just have to fall in love.
Ignore whatever held you back from your best friend and run with those feelings.
And sometimes, it doesn't even turn out to be the kind of love you expected to begin with.
And that's okay too.
I learned not to dwell on the goodbye's I never got, and to look forward to all the hello's.
I learned that sometimes, you just got to be the black sheep, the lone wolf, the independent-girl-who-dont-need-no-man.
I grew the strength to float away from the people I no longer felt tied to.
I learned NOT to be my own anchor... but to be my own wings.
I learned that dreams follow you. They haunt you in your sleep. So run with them.
I learned to suck it up my fears and insecurities and to follow where my dreams lead me.
I learned that death is an ugly thing that teaches you a few beautiful things about life.
I learned that if I could put up with a year of uncertainties and heartbreak.
A year that threw me to the wolves when it came to family and friendship and faith.
A year that tested me over and over and over again.
Then I am invincible.
I can only hope and pray that 2015 will teach me just as much as you have... in sweeter ways.
So, 2014. It's been a pleasure. The last 365 days have been one's to remember.
Cheers to the new year!
