Since my junior year of high school I haven't made it a secret that it is my DREAM to attend the University Of Westminster in London, England. And that dream stuck for the past two and a half years - until just recently.

     I know it sounds super corny to say that my mindset changed because of a dream - but it did. Last month I had a dream that I was getting ready to attend school in the PNW. In the dream I was happy and I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. I woke up and once realization hit that it was just a dream my heart grew heavy. Suddenly I felt as if I NEEDED to move back to the PNW. Like I wouldn't be happy unless I was there. So, I did my research.

    I looked up the tuition costs for both schools (University of Westminster vs. University of Oregon), mapped out where life would take me for each direction. Decided how much debt I'd be in. Ect, ect. I found that UW tuition alone would be close to 19k, while UO would be close to 28k. I could spend 19k to travel Europe and see amazing places, yet be so far away from family - OR - go back to a beautiful state and be closer to family, yet put myself into a bigger pile of student loan debt.

     Ultimately the decision is left to either following my dreams or following my heart.
     I've established that Oregon is my heart, and that London is my dream.

     Now, I am a firm believer that EVERYONE should follow their heart, no matter what. But never have I ever been faced with the fact that maybe following my heart meant taking a huge detour from my dreams. I lose sleep about this, honestly. I don't know if I've considered UO because it's safe, or if London is too far of a stretch for me to even achieve. I. Just. Don't. Know.

    So, here I am. A month away from the second year at my local CC - two/three months away from sending in my applications - less than 6 months away from making a final decision. And all I know for sure is that life will throw you curveballs at any given moment. Both options are GREAT ones; ones that I KNOW promise lots of memories and experiences and more opportunities to spread and feel love. I would be lucky to end up at either school! So, for now, I'm still losing sleep over where I TRULY want to be for the next few years of my life; but, I'm 100% sure that when the time comes and I have to make my decision, I will end up exactly where I'm supposed to.

     With that being said, I'm starting fresh. Deleting old content. Posting what I want to post, when I want to post. And focusing on being h a p p y every step of the way rather than hoping that I'll achieve happiness after I've accomplished my goals.