This post might be a little premature, but here it goes anyway...
Over the past few weeks I've noticed myself slowly changing into this person who was constantly unhappy, and overthinking, and stressed the heck out and it was draining me -
physically, emotionally, spiritually... all the above.
I think I let myself get so overwhelmed and taken over by the smallest negative emotion and I dwell. That's definitely the worst part.
Anyway, literally like three days ago I decided that I was done letting negative emotions and worries take over my whole entire attitude and outlook on life. So I've made some changes! Small changes that are making a big difference already.
1. brain dump.
I was about an hour early to one of my classes this week so I got super comfy, sat on the floor outside my lecture hall, opened up a sticky on my macbook and literally floooooooooded the page with all the different thoughts and goals and hopes and things I had to do. I basically did not organize it at all, I sat myself down for at least 10 minutes and wrote down everything that came to mind. And surprisingly enough, they were all positive thoughts and positive goals and different "to-do's" that would bring me closer to the person I want to be.
2. trashed my bedroom.
I didn't actually "trash" my bedroom, but I threw out and got rid of things that were taking up space in my life. I had a crazy amount of lipglosses and lip colors and eyeshadows that I have never worn, that were cheap drug store stuff that I didn't need anyway so I gave them to my mom. I had a ton of glittery gel pens and TWO pen holders of pens that I didn't like anyway, so I gave them to my sisters. I am currently****** (lets see how long this takes) in the process of clearing out my closet and getting rid of clothes that I never wear (surprise, surprise - i've worn most of these things a total of ONE time).
3. more mindful of my money.
I deleted my starbucks app. I am unsubscribing from all the different retail stores emailing lists. I triple-think about eating out, or buying snacks at school (seriously, the vending machines are outrageous). and i feel SO happy that 1. i'm not wasting money on foods/drinks that aren't even good for me. and 2. my credit card statements are nice and low, haha. just knowing that i'm not even going to be tempted to stop by the mall to spend a ton of money (which i know will ultimately make me feel worse at the end of the day) is such a big-girl feeling, haha.
4. more mindful of what i'm eating.
so i should start off by saying that I have in no way changed my eating habits, haha. but I do write down everything i eat everyday, and how much water i drink, and i'm definitely not mindlessly eating or snacking now. I'm aware of the amount of cookies i eat, and how much more water i should be drinking everyday, and my eating habits. and that's a solid start for me.
5. sticky notes.
I don't know what happened but a few years ago i was in some sort of sticky note craze, and then i suddenly stopped. anyway, i sticky note EVERYTHING. i have at least one sticky note on each day of my planner with one positive thought, or a motivational quote, or a to-do, or a random thought. and i don't know why, or how, but it's made me feel a lot less hectic.
6. ted talks.
feels good to have something playing in the background when I'm cleaning my room, or planning out my next day, that actually has substance to it, you know? like i am all for beyonce any day of the week, but listening to a ted talk about the importance of mindfulness, or whatever have you, seriously makes a girl feel more put together.
7. minimalism.
Over the past few days I've probably watched a total of 3 hours worth of youtube videos on minimalism. I'm kind of in the middle state where I agree that the things we surround ourselves with should be functional, and SHOULD bring us joy. but giving up buying laundry detergent and nice smelling softeners???????? crazy. just listening the concept of minimalism and not giving in to mindless shopping and compulsive buying makes so much sense to me. And although i definitely will be spending money on nice smelling detergents for probably the rest of my life, I will definitely think twice about that romper that I KNOW i'll wear only one whole time, or about that piece of stationery i don't actually need.
I can't really put into words how each of these things have made me happier, or more hopeful and positive. But I think it all roots back to the fact that these things make me feel like I actually have control. Life might throw me situations that I feel like I can't change or can't make better, but knowing that I'm not completely helpless, and that I am constantly surrounding myself with things to make me feel better inside and out, gives me a sense of reassurance that I can handle whatever stresses, and negative emotions that come my way. A bad or frustrating five minutes don't have to last a whole day.