After my second semester of college ended I realized that I spent too much time stressing out over my social media accounts. Not because of content, or lack thereof, but because I felt like these accounts weren't bringing me happiness. I spent a huge chunk of my day(s) trying to tweet things that my "followers" would approve of. Before every tweet or post I'd sit and dwell over whether or not my followers would be impressed or deem me still worthy of their "follow". And so, I shut it down.

(Of course when you deactivate a twitter account twitter so graciously allows a 30 day period where you can reactive and still have you previous content. So all summer I'd add up my days and reactivate every so often so that my account wouldn't disappear indefinitely.)

     Anyway, I realized that I spent most a lot of my free time trying to impress others with the life I live or the words I say rather than actually LIVING my life and speaking my words to actual human beings! On top of that, whenever something slightly interesting, or upsetting, or exciting, or what have you, would happen to me I would get an URGE (yes, an actual urge) to tweet my experience. I truly stopped living my life and merely went along for the ride hoping something would happen to me that would be tweet worthy. And so, I shut it down.

     My last and final reason I probably will not be returning to twitter is because instead of fueling my creative juices, adding love and happiness into my life, and/or inspiring me - it did the exact opposite.

     Yesterday I reactivated my twitter (once again, so it wouldn't delete forever) and I was hyper aware of my mood and how it went plummeting down as quickly as I scrolled down my timeline. (Side note: NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING makes me happier than seeing the people around me happy or hearing about all the wonderful things that are going on in their lives.) So, when my entire newsfeed was full of negative comments, hurtful jokes, and actual complaining, I finally saw this form of social media for what it truly was - toxic. It drained me, and when I tried to create a tweet all those negative feelings and questioning myself and wondering who will judge me came rushing back.

     So, this post may be a tad dramatic and I am always first in line to preach that social media is not a big deal and that in the grand scheme of things - it is a speck of DUST compared everything we can/will experience in a lifetime. I refuse to spend another second longer searching for the right words (or 160 characters) to say to impress everyone BUT MYSELF. Also, like I said in my previous blog post, I am actively trying to surrounded myself with people who are full of love and happiness, who will fill ME with love and happiness. And so, I'm shutting it down.