Dear 2018,

Listen babe - we are going to be the BEST of friends.

I understand that sometimes we'll fight and you'll throw anything - and everything - you can at me. And I'm ready for it.

I'm ready for the hurt and the tears and the fight that comes with life,
but I'm ready to meet it with love and hope and grace in my sweet heart and I'm ready for what you're going to teach me.

I used to be so afraid of what new change and possibilities would bring, but I'm so eager for it.
I'm ready for the ride.

Also, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE!
I don't know what to expect, but I'm so excited you're here - you've made it.
WE'VE made it!

and I hope we'll make the best, sweetest memories.

Love u already, xo -
me.

Dear 2017,

oh. my goodness. where do i start?

I remember exactly a year ago today - my heart felt like it weight a trillion tons, and like someone was holding my head underwater and that life was moving on and i was standing still.

I was so unhappy, and heartbroken. I didn't know how to love myself, but even worse - i didn't care enough to.

and then you changed.

I was seconds away from losing everything and everyone who i love, and who loves me and you changed.

You taught me how to put down my pride and how to admit when I've been defeated. and I found such beauty in great loss.

I found myself loving myself, and who i was, and all the people i knew wouldn't lead me astray. i found myself surrounded by all the same heartwarming faces I ached for, for what felt like too long.

I found myself laughing and hoping and loving, and loving, and loving some more.

I remember exactly a year ago today, but i don't remember how it feels. I don't recognize the sad girl who didn't find love or hope around her. and I'm so thankful for all the healing and growth you've taught me.

You bent and twisted and tried to break me and I came out stronger, and happier, and more hopeful than ever.

You went the complete opposite of how I expected/hoped/dreamed and I couldn't be more thankful for it.

It's been a wild bittersweet ride, 2017. I couldn't have dreamed you up any better, even if I tried.

Thanks for the memories, xo -
Me.

You were the furthest thing from what I expected.
Looking back, it feels like everyday was a surprise.
I didn't see any of it coming.

I took myself completely out of my comfort zone and did something I never thought I'd ever do.
And it brought me to the most amazing person and love I've ever known.
This love surprised me day after day.

I moved on from an unhealthy situation.
I completed my junior year of college and half of senior year.

You taught me how to love and take chances and brought me everything I never even knew I needed.

There were hard times.
These hard times you brought to me were teaching moments,
and taught me that sometimes I need to be willing to put aside my pride and doubts and fears and insecurities and just love unconditionally.

It's been real, it's been fun, it's been real fun 2016.
You came and you left and it all still feels like the craziest, happiest, blur.
And I'm so excited for the foundation you've set for the new (probably crazier) year to come.

Let's be friends. Really, really good friends.
Let the next 365 days we have together be full of love and laughter,
and sunny days, and rainy days,
and hope and joy.

Let them be full of lessons to learn,
places to go,
songs to sing,
and people to meet.

I know it'd be naive to believe that only good days are ahead of us,
but help me learn that although not all days will be good, they're not all bad either.
Help me find the beauty in the pain, the ugly, and the days that'll give me headaches.

Bring me new adventures, and new heartaches (mostly the good kind) and make me feel alive.
New days and endless opportunities to laugh until it hurts.

I think we'll be good friends. The best maybe.
And although you're only a stranger, and we've only just met,
I'm ready for you.
For whatever you have to throw my way.
I'm going to take whatever you're willing to give and run with it.
So bring it on.



Cheers to the new year! Xoxoxoxo.