Goodbye, 2019...

11:00:00 PM

Dear 2019,
You were the year that...

+ I found out that casual dating is not for me. Found out that my heart is so much more deep and vast than I give it credit for.

+ I moved to my dream city, and learned that everything takes time. Adjustment takes time. Learning to be comfortable in new and different places takes time.

+ I left my family for the first time. Went strings of days without my sisters and my parents and my Titan and my Cain.

+ I went to the east coast for the first time. Saw the city I SWORE I'd one day live in for the first time (NYC) - so full of lights and movement and so exactly what I expected.

+ Brought my best friends heart closer to my own. As much as my head told me to pull and pull further away, my heart tugged the opposite direction and lead me to the sweetest love/person.

+ Taught me to let some guards down when it comes to love, and to bring them back up when it comes to weird city strangers and noises.

+ Taught me how much I love the sounds of the city, but also how much I appreciate the quiet peace of my family's home in in the suburbs.

2019 you have been so sweet. My heart is so full of love and gratitude that I clouds out any lows I could have experienced. I've gained so much more than I've lost and its all due to the fact that I opened my heart to the possibilites of the world, and I ran with them as they came to see me. My love for the same boy over the past 8 years has grown and shaped and molded into something much more beautiful than I ever could have dreamed - and every day I'm thankful for his patience with me. I'm thankful for the peace he brings my heart, and the way he makes me want to learn all the ways I can bring peace to his.

I will look back on 2019 with love in my heart and I will remember the year that changed it all. The year that grew me up to be the person I am and am still becoming.

Goodbye, 2019 - thank you for all that you were, and all that you offered me. I can't wait to meet 2020 with the wide arms and the open heart you've taught me to have.

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