Okay, so - I think this blog post is LONG over due because my engagement ended WELL over a year ago. But honestly, the reason I didn't post this sooner is because I was yo-yoing back and forth between wanting to honor BOTH our privacy and just believing there wasn't much to say? You know?

The prompting for this post is honestly because I know *someone* who is actually going through an annulment.

I thank Heavenly Father EACH AND EVERYDAY that I never went through with the marriage - because 100% in my heart I know it would have ended in a divorce. We (me and my ex) were two completely different people who rushed so quickly into a very serious thing.

We met in April of 2016, got engaged June 2016, then broke it off for good May 2017. It was a VERY short lived relationship, and even shorter lived engagement.

I THINK a lot of people assumed that I didn't address the break up because I was embarrassed - if you're one of those people I don't blame you for thinking that ;) but I'm here to tell ya now that, that was not the case... After everything happened last May I allowed myself to be sad...

the initial, deep in my heart, sadness lasted about a week (ask my mom/entire family - we were all surprised about it LOL)... then after that wore off I honestly spent the following month(s) getting back into my OWN routine. The HARDEST part of that break up wasn't the actual heartbreak - it was realizing I spent SO MUCH TIME with one other person that I didn't know what to do with myself afterward. It was getting used to not having him around!

After (+ even during) I got back into my own routine I started seeing my friends more often, talking to boys again!, and re-inventing who I was and who I wanted to be - and then so much time had passed I had no feelings toward the broken engagement, it was just what it was and I didn't feel heartache or pain or fond-ness (???) toward the subject and I felt like if I was to make it blog post it would be so boring and bland and no one would read it, haha.

BUT, like I said - after seeing this *person* go through an annulment it has allowed me to look into how I want to proceed in my future relationship(s) and even let me re-visit what exactly went wrong in my last one!

So, here it is...


1. We were so different!
I will say this until I am BLUE in the face - differences in a relationship CAN BE GOOD THINGS! But in this particular relationship... we were different about our FUNDAMENTAL beliefs and so we were butting heads in ways that truly mattered and worked against one another. Our differences didn't make each other stronger or "complete" one another. If you're going to be different - be different in ways that supplement one another and could help each other GROW in better, stronger ways. We argued about religion, political beliefs, lifestyle ideals and other HUGE topics that even strong/mature marriages and relationships (I think) have a hard time dealing with alone - we didn't stand a chance considering we STILL hardly knew each other!

2. My family didn't like him.
I think this one is self explanatory - I couldn't see how wrong, wrong, wrong we were for each other BUT my family could. So I spent a lot of time defending him and taking his side, while my family was trying to slap some sense into me. This lead to me having to CONSOLE my other half and try to convince (the both of us) that my family's opinion didn't mater AND me arguing with my family on the other end. It was all lose, lose, lose. My biggest life tip is - listen to your mom. 

3. We rushed it.
THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN POINT NUMBER ONE BECAUSE HONESTLY THIS WAS PROBABLY THIS BIGGEST ISSUE. I think I can stem all our relationship issues back to this one specific point - we rushed it. We hardly knew each other. We got serious so fast. etc. etc. etc. Like I mentioned above, a lot of the things we struggled with were more than likely things ALL relationships struggle with BUT we were still trying to know and understand each other WHILST going through these huge issues. It's hard to expect a relationship to last during the hardships and struggles when there is ZERO FOUNDATION. Even the most seasoned relationships have a hard time sticking through when the going gets tough.

4. It wasn't the right relationship.
I can type all day long all the reasons why this relationship (and past relationships) failed, but honestly none of it would matter because ultimately the reason this relationship didn't last is because it wasn't right. The right relationship will be the exception to all the rules - really, truly.