Usually, I have weeks and weeks of posts scheduled to be posted every Sunday and Wednesday morning - but for weeks I didn't have a single idea for today in particular. So I decided I'd skip a day. Not a big deal. I'd rather not post at all than post something that I wasn't interested in, or something I didn't want to talk about. Something that had no meaning.

But I think that today (probably more than ever) I really should just... talk.



I've spent most of my morning listening to TedTalks, haha. I think I do this most when I need inspiration, or motivation, or just to listen to something happy and eye opening. I shoved my cell phone in a drawer far, far away and pulled out my ancient ipod. I spent the last nearly 24 hours just thinking up ways to change things. I'm gonna *hopefully* cut my hair tomorrow... or the day after... or this weekend. I'm going to write more meaningful things, and try to fill my heart with a whole lot of love.

The past few months have really made me feeling like I'm getting held underwater. But like, by myself - if that makes sense? I spent a lot of time denying myself happiness and telling myself that I don't deserve it (I wasn't the only one telling me this) and just accepting that. I don't know what happened, or how to change it but I know somewhere along the way I stopped loving myself - so I stopped loving everything else too.

School sucks. I have two weeks left of regular classes and then ONE week of finals and then I'm freeeeeeeeeeee. It's been the hardest four months of my life - but I hung in there, barely. Lol.

This sounds super depressing and sad but I promise if anything I'm just kind of lost feeling, you know? Not sad, not depressed - just unsure.

My mouth feels so - uncomfortable. I thought that things start to get back to normal a few days after getting your wisdom teeth pulled but if anything I think I let myself think too much about the stitches and just convince myself that they're itchy, haha. Still can't eat like anything. But I'm less tired, which is nice. I don't feel myself when I just want to sleep all day.

Easter is this weekend! It's going to be so hot, probably, but I'm excited.

I think at this point I'm just rambling, making small talk haha.



There's so much I want to talk about, and express - but I'll save it for a different time. The title has nothing to do with anything in this blog post, I just realized haha. But it fit my mood so it stays ;) Stream of consciousness I guess.