Did anyone close to you die?
- No, thank goodness.

What countries did you visit?
- None :(

What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?
- I would like to have more peace of mind, and organization!

What dates from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- September 16th, 2019.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

- Moving to Oregon! Getting a new big girl job!

What was your biggest failure?

- Allowing myself to get sad as much as I have! Not realizing things a little sooner.

What was the best thing you bought?

- All the furniture in my apartment!

Where did most of your money go?

- Apartment stuff hahahahahahahahahaaa.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

- Moving to Oregon. and Parker, always.

Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

- I am happier, fatter :( and I think I'm cutting even hahaha.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

- Spent more time with my family. Gone on more adventures. Saved more money.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

- Worry!

How did you spend Christmas?

- Back home, with all my favorite people: the San Nicolas', the Andersons and Parker D and Coco Bear!

Did you fall in love in 2019?

- Every day, more and more.

What was your favourite TV program?

- Hmmmmmmm, I've loved so many! I really like This is Us, A Million Little Things, American Horror Story, You, Riverdale, How To Get Away With Murder, Legacies... so many.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

- Probably Billie Eilish lol (Thanks P).

What song will always remind you of 2019?

- Bad Guy x Billie Eilish and Truth Huts x Lizzo (literally only bc they remind me of this summer with Parker!)

What did you want and get?

- Parker. Moving to Oregon. New job.

What did you want and not get?

- Hmm, nothing that is missed.

What was your favourite film of this year?

- SO MANY! I love movies. Frozen II is definitely high up there though.

What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

- Parker D.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?

- Simple, so simple haha and warm.

What kept you sane?

- Again, Parker D.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

- None I don't think!

What political issue stirred you the most?

- Impeachment!

Who did you miss?

- My family - both San Nicolas and Anderson.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019.

- Cherish the people around you! Love them, love them, love them.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

- "Though this life tried to keep us apart, you keep calling me back to your heart"

Dear 2020,

I can't believe it's already time to start a new decade. I don't think I can remember what it was like in 2009 moving into 2010, or if it was as significant as a change as it seems right now - but I can't wait for you.

I can't wait to experience even more love and joy and learning experiences. I can't wait to look back on the past couple of years of my life and reflect on how that has all lead me to you.

This is the first year I'm starting in a brand new city, with so much still out there to explore and to find new loves for.

I will be strong and wide-eyed. I will embrace all the changes as they come. I will be gentle and kind and loving - even more so than each day before the next. I will quiet and still my heart to be closer to the Spirit and to calm myself when times get hard.

I will be a better partner and friend and sister and daughter. I will be better in my career and take myself to places I cannot even dream as of right now. I will go beyond my own expectations, and I will set all the bars for myself.

2020 will be sweet and kind, and I'll think these things even when it tries hard to prove me otherwise. I will be a better "me".

I can't wait to meet ya, 2020. I think we'll be good friends.

Dear 2019,

You were the year that...

+ I found out that casual dating is not for me. Found out that my heart is so much more deep and vast than I give it credit for.

+ I moved to my dream city, and learned that everything takes time. Adjustment takes time. Learning to be comfortable in new and different places takes time.

+ I left my family for the first time. Went strings of days without my sisters and my parents and my Titan and my Cain.

+ I went to the east coast for the first time. Saw the city I SWORE I'd one day live in for the first time (NYC) - so full of lights and movement and so exactly what I expected.

+ Brought my best friends heart closer to my own. As much as my head told me to pull and pull further away, my heart tugged the opposite direction and lead me to the sweetest love/person.

+ Taught me to let some guards down when it comes to love, and to bring them back up when it comes to weird city strangers and noises.

+ Taught me how much I love the sounds of the city, but also how much I appreciate the quiet peace of my family's home in in the suburbs.

2019 you have been so sweet. My heart is so full of love and gratitude that I clouds out any lows I could have experienced. I've gained so much more than I've lost and its all due to the fact that I opened my heart to the possibilites of the world, and I ran with them as they came to see me. My love for the same boy over the past 8 years has grown and shaped and molded into something much more beautiful than I ever could have dreamed - and every day I'm thankful for his patience with me. I'm thankful for the peace he brings my heart, and the way he makes me want to learn all the ways I can bring peace to his.

I will look back on 2019 with love in my heart and I will remember the year that changed it all. The year that grew me up to be the person I am and am still becoming.

Goodbye, 2019 - thank you for all that you were, and all that you offered me. I can't wait to meet 2020 with the wide arms and the open heart you've taught me to have.